{"product_id":"angry-turtle","title":"Angry Turtle","description":"\u003cp\u003eHe has a shell to retreat into and he still chose \u003cem\u003eviolence.\u003c\/em\u003e Meet the \u003cstrong\u003eAngry Turtle\u003c\/strong\u003e — arms crossed, jaw set, absolutely refusing to have a good day. He's been around for millions of years and he is \u003cem\u003etired.\u003c\/em\u003e Tired of you. Tired of everything. And he's not going anywhere.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAt \u003cstrong\u003e5 inches tall\u003c\/strong\u003e and a wide \u003cstrong\u003e4.5 inches across\u003c\/strong\u003e, this guy takes up space with the confidence of someone who has literally outlived the dinosaurs and still has complaints.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDimensions: 5\"H x 4.5\"W x 4.5\"D\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHandcrafted with premium materials\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAncient energy, fresh attitude\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePerfect for desks, shelves, or anyone who moves slow but holds grudges fast\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003ePart of the Angry Animals collection — slow to forgive, never to forget. 🐢\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"A Touch Of \"SON\" Shine","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":43970289827899,"sku":null,"price":22.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0662\/8720\/6459\/files\/Use_AI_Image_Aug_12_2026_14_11_18.webp?v=1786561005","url":"https:\/\/calhouncreations.shop\/products\/angry-turtle","provider":"Walk in the Son","version":"1.0","type":"link"}